The Midnight News 5.31.01/6.01.01
Posted By Hyatte on 05.31.01
1Wrestling, Wrestleline, Nash vs Honky (with a run-in), WCW stars, Sexay, this, that, these, those in a big double shot o'news
MAY 31, 2001
Not much going on today, so I thought I'd speak of a little irony I had discovered.
When I started this news, I wanted to cover a wide variety of "News" sites to take news from.... so this column wouldn't be "The Torch Jr.", or "The Observer Jr.". I certainly wanted to credit where I got the info from, because I'm no insider nor do I want to pretend to be one. Too many of those on the Net already, as you already know.
The thing is, many, MANY times... all the best news does come from one site. Every night I sit down to do this, every time I research the daily news to recap.... invariably, it all comes from one site 1Wrestling. Yes, 1Bob.
See, the Observer and the Torch must pick and choose what news they want to post online, because they are there primarily to sell their Newsletters. 1Wrestling doesn't do that. Oh sure, Scherer offers his "Lariat" as a newsletter, but Ryder posts the hard news faster than anyone. Back when I was just doing the Mop-Up and AAT, I barely noticed this and didn't really give a rat's ass. But now, since I want to give the Midnight News readers (a pretty big number, according to Widro) a vast overview of everything that's happening, it's kind of too obvious not to point out. Ryder gets a lot of flack from people.... myself included, but he and Scherer get the job done.... better than everyone else.
The irony? All those damn pop-ups make visiting 1bob one of the most annoying experiences out there, but that's the price you have to pay.
Hey, just telling the truth.
Now, even though Ryder had posted a note about Copyright Violations yesterday. I didn't write this because of that. I credit them and provide a link. If Bob had problems with me in particular, he would have contacted me about it. I didn't write this thing just to appease him. I truly doubt my news is what's pissing him off. Hell, one loser once took an AAT I wrote and submitted it to the Torch under his name. Even though they pulled it fast, to this day I didn't even get an apology or anything. Blatant stealing of your work sucks.
Something else.... I can't seem to get to 411 right at the moment. I also couldn't post the Mop-Up Raw flashback column last night. I just hope there are MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of people logjamming the site waiting for this news... and not a full server crash or something.
SMACKDOWN AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM
No spoilers, but I will tell you that the show seemed to be average fair, with the exception of a re-match between "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Chris Benoit that everyone says tore the building up. It will kick your ass.
Oh, and no WCW stars showed up.
MORE FALLOUT.... MORE RAW FALLOUT
About the same as last week. In between telling you how to subscribe to his newsletter, Meltzer says it drew a 4.2.
The controversy about the Harts at Raw continues. Dave Scherer gave a pretty good detailed outline about what happened and who's to blame. He was awfully hard on Stu Hart, though. Here's what he said:
The way I see Stu's appearance is that he is an old wrestler in his final days, and wanted to hear the pop of the crowd one more time. I could rip him for choosing to get that pop at the expense of the feelings of his son, but my heart just wouldn't be in doing it. Anyone who watched “Wrestling With Shadows” got a glimpse into what Stu Hart is. I would be hard pressed to say anything nice about the crazy old man who seemingly lived to take young prospective wrestlers into his basement and inflict serious pain upon them. His own children were seemingly afraid of him. It's hard to expect him to suddenly have a Hallmark moment at this stage of the game, so I will give him a pass for appearing on Raw.
Ouch.
To read the full essay, it's right
here
ONE DOWN
Once again, straight from 1wrestling, it seems that Booker T has reached a settlement with Time Warner and will be free to work out a new contract with the WWF/WCW. That dream match between Booker and Shawn Stasiak is JUST WEEKS AWAY!!!!!!
There was a Mick Foley chat that was posted.... but I can't possibly imagine Mick having anything new to say. Enough already. He's done a million interviews, we are not obligated to read/hear/watch them ALL.
BUT, PLUGS
I know I screwed up the link to And Another Thing this week, but seeing how the site is down and the Smarks haven't even posted the thing yet (I sent it out Tuesday, guys).... I can't even re-link the thing.
I DID manage to score the link to Josh Nason's latest Fight Club, which is a good, solid read about how Message Boards have become the home to wannabe wrestlers who just aren't good enough. Josh is no Hyatte (of course), but he does some good work here at 411.
Ah, here we go. To read, re-read, and re-re-re-read (to absorb ALL the nuances, of course) my latest And Another Thing, go
here.
Finally.... the Nash/Honky Net War will be saved as the final treat at the bottom. For now, let's take in some Classic words of wisdom from everyone's favorite Moron....
SPEAK TO US.... WAAAAARRRRRIOR
From October, 1999.... after hearing that Paul Heyman wasn't interested in his services for ECW... and because you just don't say no to Jim Hellwig, without a 3 hour lecture...
A few weeks ago, after posting an introduction, of sorts, it was relayed to me, from an acquaintance of yours, (who will remain anonymous), Mr. Heyman, that in response to the possible appearance of Warrior at ECW, you stated -- excuse me if I don’t quote this verbatim -- “...it’s a possibility, but it’s a better possibility if he [Warrior] considers jobbing to Taz...”
Well, yes, I see, we all have our moments where we fade in and out of lucidity while soliloquizing during a reverie we have while walking about the dandy-lions, now don’t we? Or maybe it was that your insulin levels were out of whack from eating, what is it, Whitecastle or Krystal Kreme? To quote another arteriosclerosis candidate, Louie the fat comedian, more bluntly says “Excuse me for sweating, if I don’t, I’ll explode.”
Seems, I seriously misunderstood your desire to do the right things to succeed, Ultimately. Then again only the rare ever really understand the meaning of true success. You see, it’s not the “job” thing that bothers me as much as the quandary I have about why anyone, with reasonable intelligence, would want to devalue -- immediately, as if test driving -- an already established, marketably appealing persona in this business. Besides, is a job really a job when the world knows it’s a job? You see, I used that position to my advantage already.
Anyway, the whole suggestion of it, as a first response in a discussion discussing possibilities, seems, from a larger business perspective, oddly rash and imprudent. I did, however, hear that you had no qualms and, even, found it quite fitting to exploit the very thing, you felt fit to belittle, in a spot for a 1-900# line. You know, if I had a nickel for every 1-900# call that lured callers with “something warrior”, “something ultimate” or “former, long-seen WWF champion or superstar” (the thing worthless to everyone of you experts) I’d have more nickels than all the other dollars I made! It vexes me that people, “for whatever reasons”, justify doing so. Keep the money, obviously, you need it worse than I do -- or is that better than I do? Guess that depends on how you define success and wealth. Probably like most others. Wrongly. There are many more empowering things than money with which to negotiate deals with. You showed you don’t have that kind of vision.
You made the offer, these are the basic, not to be changed, terms. I enter the ring, one of your guys enters the ring; we both get in the ring. The bell rings -- struck by an impartial bell ringer. The clock begins -- time kept by an impartial timekeeper. 30 seconds later if I’m still standing, in the ring, I own your company and get the proceeds from the gate, minus $26.89 for your cab fare, a jelly-filled and a cup of Joe, black without cream. If I lose, I become, immediately, the biggest fool in this industry and you keep the proceeds from the gate. We communicate through representation to set a mutually agreed upon date. All other details of prearrangements and legal matters for assuredness are handled by attorneys. You made this statement and these are my terms. I’m done with it.
Under a microscope, everyone has, at one time or another been misunderstood for being an a’hole. And sure, you can find someone who may have not gotten the autograph they were seeking or didn’t get out of me, conversationally, what they would have liked. But there’s a huge difference between Disrespect and Determination to Succeed or being Rude and being Ready to Get the Job Done or being Petulant and being Prepared to Perform or being Brash and being Boldly Set On Your Sights or being Smart Ass and being Serious About What You Do, and on and on. My absences and sporadic appearances in this business have, unfortunately, mischaracterized me, both, professionally and personally.
You see, I am the Master of My Universe. Unlike others who swallow more than just their pride (use your imagination) because their life outside the business is a wreck. There are some who are not afraid of what tomorrow brings because they believe in their abilities enough that they don’t have to eat the wrongful Sh#@ they get handed to accept. I am one of them. Excuse me, but, I have a hard time make-believing it’s a chocolate bar from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, when it’s really just another chaw of Sh#@ from the “We Own Your Life” Factory. There's a huge difference between being Empowered -- and an Empowering Example for others -- or just being Slavishly Employed.
So, the Warrior's response to being rejected was... basically, "okay, I'll take you all on in the ring?"
Dear God... WARRIOR FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!
I'll be back... well, just scroll down for tomorrow's news TODAY!!
This is Hyatte
**********************************************
JUNE, 2001
Well, the site went down, it got better.... and we're back. Lots of news to cover.... but I'd like to start off with a little story about a scumbag over at Wrestleline . I won't even link up their site.... screw them.
This "Downtown Dave" posted a column yesterday.... a weekly column called "Hitting The Streets" because Lord knows his opinions are so scary important. This guy dedicates over half of his column to PULLING QUOTES from the Honky Tonk Man's site and commenting on them. To make matters worse, he acts like he INVENTED THE IDEA!!
The thing is, which is why he's a retard, is that he just yanked TONS AND TONS of messages off HTM's site. Practically everything the man has written so far. He just yanked it all. If I were the Webmaster for HTM's site, I would be pissed off. Especially since this dickhead was patronizing towards what he pulled, and at the end, snottily invited readers to "kill a few brain cells" dumbing down to go over to HTM's site. Nice plug there, c-sucker. Yeah, Wrestleline REALLY teaches the readers something.... we learn how to act and write like Rick Scaia.... the last Internet Virgin. Pompous Jizzsmear.
I know, I can't do anything about it. It just blows, you know. I work to try to put something new and different into my columns only to have homos like "Downtown Dave" lift it.
"Downtown Dave" runs Wrestleline. He's the moron who tells Scaia to use the word "frickin'". He decided one day that this Internet Column thing is easy and gave himself a gig. The thing is, he looks down on the readers (which makes him perfect for Wrestleline) and writes like he's talking to children. His columns tell you what is "cool" that week... "Oooh, THIS is cool".... "THAT is cool".... "here's something REALLY cool". How does HE know it's cool? because he's "Downtown Dave".... and he "hits the streets.... downtown!" So he HAS to know what's cool.
Trust me... I know who this Downtown Pusbag is.... I was so desperate to get away from a guy like him that I jumped to ScoopThis overnight without saying a word. Remy Artieaga was the exact same way.
I hope Downtown Dave and every single Wrestleline writer who kisses his ass gets that flesh eating bacteria on his penis and watches helplessly as it burns it down to nothing.... as painfully as possible!
I swear.... I'm the only writer online with any creativity. Everyone else is CLUELESS!!
Onto the news, many of it NOT from 1 wrestling.... for a change.
BRIEF NOTE
Not really news but, my old Edge< partner, Greg Dillard, didn't make it onto Survivor 3.... he doesn't even get to be an alternate. Damn shame. Greg promised to mention my name on Howard Stern.
The good news, Greg got a free trip to Chicago and caught a Cubs game at Wrigley.... a true joy for any REAL American.
SMACKDOWN
Yes, it was on last night. Here's the 411 recap
Moving on...
WHO'S IN WCW THIS WEEK?
Whoa, lots and lots of speculation here...
Now, someone sent me an e-mail saying that Rob Van Dam was telling people that he was hired by the WWF to work at WCW. Looks like RVD jumped the gun, just a tad.
All reports say that Van Dam has NOT signed, but the WCW contract is on in his Lawyer's hands just waiting to get a little ink on it. Van Dam is pleased with the contract, the WWFE is pleased and Eric Bischoff is banging his head against a brick wall moaning "why, why,why,why,why??". So, unless something HORRIFIC happens, (like... oh... Rob works a Canadian date and Dudley Do-Right decided to frisk him), pencil RVD in for the first WCW telecast.
Now, Buff Bagwell SHOULD sign, but not yet. See,
The Observer says that Bagwell's contract with WCW ends on June 24. All signs point to him signing with the WWF at 12:01 am June 25th. Most signs see him getting suspended, fined, and shoved in the WWF doghouse for acting like a douchebag by the 26th.
The way it looks now, the new WCW will use Booker T, DDP, Rob Van Dam, and Buff Bagwell as it's four main eventers. (I expect Scott Steiner in there, too) with the door open for all those "jumps" that keeps the Marks yapping all week long. I also think the WWF might even bring Scott Hall in too.
Meanwhile,
RF Video says that the WWF are going to pursue Tommy Dreamer. The site also says that the WWF isn't into bringing in other ECW talent like Super Crazy, CW Anderson, and the Full Blooded Italians.
If they bring in Dreamer, and right away he and Raven start going at it.... then you know EXACTLY who the "New Russo" is in the WWF.... by God.
YOU SEXAY THING..... BRAID MY HAIR
Interesting.... RF Video reported that the only "drugs" Brian Lawler had on him was a muscle growth drug that is legal in America but illegal in Canada (tight asses).
However.... everyone else, as well as Slam Wrestling says that Lawler had "one tenth of a gram of methamphetamine, one tenth of a gram of marijuana, and a half a gram of cocaine" on him when frisked.
The story now is, Lawler pleaded guilty to cocaine possession, but the other charge was dropped. He has to pay a $50 fine, make a $500 dollar donation to an Adolescent Drug and Alcohol Program in Canada. (isn't that called the "Dave Gagnon House?") and he has to promise to one day get Scotty Taylor to do a naked version of "The Worm" while lying on top of Canada's Prime Minister. (HAW!! I knew those Canadians were all "swishy").
The good news, this will not appear on Lawler's record. He got off VERY lucky.
The bad news.... he's still fired from the WWF. That won't change.
Scherer says that the WWF has a inflexible policy about drugs. You get caught with them, you are gone. You can use them all you want.... just don't get caught with them outside the locker room. Do not embarrass the company.
The Slam Article, which is really quite good, also said that Jerry Lawler was "very down" about what happened to his son.
FINALLY, EMORY HALE HAS FOUND A TV HOME
1Bob reports that Hulk Hogan and his Universal Theme Park Partners will produce wrestling "events" for a Fox network starting April 8th. Expect to see all of Hogan's buddies on board, many people the WWF wasn't interested in, and Rena Mero. No one has any specifics, but chances are Hogan will be winning every match he's in.... unless Rena hits him with a shoe.
I think it's safe to say that everyone will know exactly what "Bubba The Love Sponge" looks like before the Summer's over. I'm sure you were all wondering.
I'll give you a tease.... he's fat. Rikishi fat.
BUT, PLUGS
Sean McClusky becomes "Mr. Recap" this week as Smackdown becomes his third recap for 411. Between this and moderating the 411 Fan Forum, where DOES he find the time for babes? (oooh, he's a stud.... they don't call him "Beanie" for nothing!)
There are two fresh 411 columns up today (yesterday).... and they are both about the Harts at RAW (*sigh)
The Mark Out by Shannon Fagan is basically the same thing I said in AAT.... hell, it's the exact same thing. Feel free to read both and see for yourself. Nice going kid. Try not to be so influenced by me next time. Or go write for Wrestleline.
Next up, The Murtzable Claw by Murtz Jaffer. Murtz is pissed to all hell at Stu Hart and explains why. Apparently, this kid will do anything in order to get me to plug him. (inside joke).
Lastly, remember.... tomorrow is the deadline for submissions for the 411 Showcase Commentary. Geordie Tait, last week's columnist, already submitted another one in hopes of "defending his title".... and he's got some solid competition already. Please, send them in to me at glorydog@msn.com.
I think I'll save the really good ones and post them when they are the best ones on any given week. That way, you folks don't think you have to produce something new every week or anything. I'll personally tell you if yours is kept "on reserve".
Okay... lots of stuff covered. Let's take it easy now and enjoy a Web Feud that doesn't involve losers like me and that idiot who pretends to be a cat.. It involves actual WRESTLERS
KEVIN NASH VS THE HONKEY TONK MAN!!!!
So, this all started when Honky Tonk Man made a few remarks about Nash's booking style and his lack of drawing power during an interview. Nash responded by saying that HTM must be one of those disgruntled old timers who couldn't get any money out of this business. It's all covered in the Midnight News that's been sitting on the front page for the past two days.
Honky, of course, had a response:
"Nash calls me a "mark." Of course I am. If I didn't like this business, I would never have gotten into it. The question is, why did you get into the business Kev? Nash says I must be broke, with no money, and I live in a single-wide trailer. Not hardly Kevin, I couldn't get the big screen TV in a single. I had to get a doublewide. He goes on to defend the honor of Flair and Jeff Jarrett. What I say about them has nothing to do with him at all. Nash thinks I am disgruntled towards the young guys. Couldn't be further from the truth Kevin, but you, Flair, and Jarrett do not fit into the category of "young." As for me being the top heel. Brother Nash, I will put my WWF gate receipts as the main event, against yours anytime you want to spit out the numbers. I can handle the truth. The numbers will not lie. Bring'em on. They are not "Fake." Heat, I must have some with you from the way you go after me. Why do you "old" WCW guys get so hot when you get hit with the demise of WCW? Now Kevin you must be the "Mark" for getting sooooo upset. Guess I'm out of the wrestler's union you have proposed. Damn, I'll have to make it on my own. I hope that Chevron is hiring. The Honky Tonk Man
P.S- We value each and every one of your opinions. (unlike some people out there) and we do not take your opinions personally, (as do some of the wrestlers), nor do we tell you to "keep your mouth shut" as Nash did to us. So feel free to e-mail us and give us your views!"
Upon hearing this, Big Sexy responded to 1wrestling....
"I don't have time to reply to him. I have a life. Yes he is the greatest of all time. In fact, when I sit around with a bunch of the guys talking about the greatest wrestlers of all time, Honky Tonk Man is the first wrestler to come to mind. It's pathetic that he's sitting home listening to and masturbating to Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days". Wayne, I initially said I wouldn't, but now I will send you $5...to buy a life."
Which, of course, prompted the Honky Tonk Man to say THIS....
We here at theHonkyTonkMan.com would like to take a minute to respond to Kevin Nashs latest comments. First off, we want to thank Kevin for taking time out of his "busy" schedule, we know that sitting on your ass and collecting a couple mill is hard work. As far that 5 dollars, please do send it our way! While your at it, send Brian Pillmans family the 20 grand you promised them, because according to our sources, you still haven't lived up to your promises. Any time, any place, you low life piece of dogsh*t!! Oh, I will be calling the "Children With Aids Foundation" here in Phoenix to see if you stiffed them too!!
Think it's getting nasty? WAIT.... because who has decided to hop onboard but none other than but Jake "The Snake" Roberts.... who added:
Must have struck a nerve if there ever was one? Kevin, who were you sitting around talking to? Jarrett, Steiner or Jericho's Valet? Kevin you fit in there with the Jericho's, the Gulas's, the Jarrett's, the Ultimate Warriors and the Beefcake's. The luckiest people or the 'family' or the best workers behind closed doors to ever get in the business, you should be arrested for imitating wrestlers. Fact is your working, and your booking helped seal the coffin of WCW . By the way did you always know how, or did Shawn show you? Incidentally, you should get someone else to write for you - your barbs are pretty dull. I'm not a disgruntled old timer, who didn't save his money - I'm one of the thousands who gave their heart and soul to the business for 20 years. The ones that built it and the ones that were used to build cartoon characters for todays untalented, unable to work whores of today. See Kevin the truth is, I've learned never to say never, because if I wanted to suck one - I would, but never for a dollar. Thank you.....hope you understand. Honky had the guts to stand up not kneel down.
BOOYA!!! Give it to Old Schoolers.... Big Sexy's getting TOSSED!!!!
Okay, so props go to
Wayne Ferris for sticking to his guns....
Props to The Snake for getting involved, even though he is obviously the easiest target for Nash, if he wanted to continue this....
And maybe even a prop to Big Sexy for not giving a crap, and still being one cool dude.
Finally, props to me.... because I do rule.
The double news column is over with. I'm on my weekend respite, to recover from no-talent creep faces named "Downtown Dave" who just rip my ideas to making an interesting column and slap them into his. Typical Wrestleliner.... just takes and takes and takes and never comes up with anything on his own. I call it "Scaiarrhea".
Ugh. I'm back Sunday with some news, and the Message Board thing
This is Hyatte